Common Criticisms Homeschoolers Face and How to Respond

One of the not so blissful aspects of homeschooling is the criticism you receive. Unfortunately, when it comes to criticism, it’s not a case of IF but WHEN.

It can come from many directions too. If it comes during a difficult season, it can derail you mentally if you’re not prepared.
If this is you, please know you’re not alone. I haven’t yet met a homeschooler who hasn’t been criticised by either strangers, friends, or family members.

If you find yourself in one of those uncomfortable situations this post will help you identify ways you could respond to common homeschool criticisms.

If you haven’t already, write down your list of reasons for homeschooling. Depending on your personality, you may find that when you are put on the spot you forget everything you ever knew about homeschooling. In these cases, having a bullet point list you’ve written and reminded yourself of regularly really helps. Every family has slightly different reasons.

Firstly, I want to say there are times when a hard but calm “how I educate my child is none of your business” is necessary. This will depend on your history with the critic (and possibly how tired you are at that moment). I would say this to a nasty stranger, someone who is being plain mean aka a bully, or someone I have dealt with kindly before who doesn’t seem to get a hint.

However, sometimes criticism can come from well-meaning people, often family or friends. If you have the patience, you are doing our whole homeschool community a favour if you kindly educate such persons. Below you will find a list of some of the classic criticisms from these folk and a friendly(ish) response you could use for each.

1. You are sheltering your child from the real world

Homeschooled children learn about the “real world” through a wider and more diverse range of literature and by learning life skills alongside adults.

• Your child won’t learn as much and will fall behind academically

Homeschooled children consistently outperform their traditionally schooled peers academically.

• You aren’t giving your child opportunities to learn normal social skills

The idea that healthy social skills can only be learned by surrounding your child with other small people with underdeveloped social skills just doesn’t make sense. We prefer to have our child observe healthy adult interactions as their main social education and then practice their skills with children they interact with regularly.

• Your child won’t get accepted into university or will have a hard time at university

Universities DO accept homeschooled children and they are typically better equipped to be self-motivated learners.

• You simply can’t cover all the subjects that a school can

Because of the individual attention home schooled children get, they are able to cover subjects in much less time than they would at school. They can also focus more on subjects they are passionate about or gifted in.

• You’re not a teacher so you shouldn’t be teaching your child

I’m not a teacher but I am their parent and I know them very well which gives me an advantage that teachers simply don’t have.

• Your child should be better at X, Y, Z, at his/her age, that shows they need a real teacher

Firstly, you have no idea whether they would be at, below, or above their current “level” if they were in school. Secondly, children naturally learn different things at different times. As homeschoolers we are able to follow their natural learning progression rather than develop resentment towards subjects by pushing them too early.

• It’s too much responsibility for you and you should just focus on being their parent

Homeschooling is more intensive than sending my child to school but its what works best for our family and our parent/child relationship is strengthened through it.

• You aren’t qualified to teach highschool subjects

That may be true, but there are wonderful online resources, courses, homeschool cooperatives and even in person classes my child can attend, and I will be able to help them and learn alongside them.

Though criticisms can be a pain to deal with as a parent, it can be expected. We live in a world where comparing and critiquing is non-stop. There is however one type of criticism that are not just a pain but actually dangerous. That is the covert criticism of interfering directly with your child. If that is happening it needs to stop. It is also probably the hardest type of criticism homeschooling parents have to deal with because it can affect your child’s confidence and sense of security. If this is happening to you and you are able to confront the person do so as soon as possible. Another option is to write a letter. Either way I really recommend that you set some boundaries to prevent it reoccurring.

Well, that concludes my least favourite post to write! Criticism can be exhausting. Grab yourself a cup of tea and write your own list of reasons you homeschool and some gentle responses for those people who may need you to educate them 😉. I would LOVE to hear from you in the comments below. Lets stick together in this!